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Articles summarizes some of the professional concerns of the psychologist Rosa Cukier. She was always interested in issues related to child abuse, narcissistic and borderline personality disorders and how these issues influence the personal and professional life in adulthood.

Humans exert enormous power over each other, the power of life or death. From a physiological point of view, humans reproduce very similarly to all mammals and are born when they leave the womb.

From a psychological point of view, however, their reproduction is totally unique and peculiar. Psychologically human beings are born slowly and not always completely, depending on your personal determination and luck to find parents who can manage their basic needs.

The human child has two kinds of needs:

– PHYSICAL – a human baby is born extremely fragile requiring physical care (feeding, hygiene, health, heat, tactile stimulation, etc.) without which he dies. The focus here is on what is done to the child.
-EMOCIONAL – Basic emotional need of the human being and without which it does not survive psychologically is the need for dependence, to count on each other. The human baby is born completely unprepared and will only be autonomous, with internal resources, after many years (in the middle class in our urban culture, only after adolescence). Here what matters is not having physical needs met, but how it is done.

In addition, the first stage of our life is pre-verbal and everything that happens to us depends on the verbal and emotional decoding of our mother / caregiver) . Without someone who can mirror our needs and emotions we have no way of knowing who we are. On the other hand how this person decodes our messages ends up constituting what we are, and it does so according to their own heritage of emotional experiences.

This first caregiver or caregivers work as a kind of relational bridge between the child and the world and take up, at first the place the “I” * child will take later. We are “WE” before being “I”, that is, the relationship we establish with our first caregivers, is the foundation stone of our identity (Erikson, E,:. 1976) and will also reflect our expectations of the world.

Abused children in these basic and fundamental care are like ticking time bomb for the future. The abuse reverberates throughout his personal and professional life.